Friday, June 10, 2011

Out Hunting the Wild and Elusive J O B

I think that many people these days look down on hunting as a general pastime or sport. Society seems to group hunters with loggers and hillbillies. Let me be perfectly honest. I would rather hunt just about anything but that which is hunted the most: the wild and elusive J O B.

Perhaps some would argue that the two categories of hunting have nothing in common and "job hunting", as it is often referred to, is totally different from "regular hunting". A quick online search reveals that the definition of hunting is Let's see. Hunting is the practice of pursuing any living thing, but usually wildlife for food,recreation, or trade. Let's see. "The practice of pursuing"- well, when one is looking for a JOB, one must pursue or one will die, so that fits. "Any living thing, but usually wildlife" - some may argue that a JOB does not fit the definition of a "living thing", but they probably already have one. "For food" - yes. I am pursuing a JOB so that I can eat, so that fits completely. "Recreation" - without one I am bored so.... "Or trade"- isn't "trade" and old word for "job"? So, the definition fits. Mostly. Now let me show you how "regular hunting" is SO much easier than hunting the wild and elusive JOB.

First off, the proper clothing is essential to either type of hunt. For regular hunting, the requirements are: comfortable, warm, and usually bright orange. Easy. For hunting a JOB, the requirements change every five minutes. One JOB requires a business suit, the next slacks and a nice top. One must take into consideration the position and what stage of the hunt you are in. Dropping off an application can be slightly more casual than say and interview, but one must be careful to be well-groomed even then. Usually the clothing is not exactly comfortable, but it must be something you feel confident in or your insecurity might be noticed and taken the wrong way. It is also important to show that you are competent and classy, yet individuality of style should come through a bit to make you stand out and give a feel for your personality. Oh dear... The pressure on my wardrobe is too much!!! I'm melting! Aaahh! ... ... ... Okay, moving on.

Next, I would like to point out the difference in tools needed for a proper hunt. On a hunt, you need some way to span the distance between yourself and your target, usually at high speeds. Different types of hunting use different tools to span this distance. Some hunters use guns, some use bows, and others use pieces of paper. If I just lost you, hang in there. When hunting the wild JOB, all you are armed with to span the distance between you and a future employer is a Resume (piece of paper), Application (piece of paper), and possibly a Cover Letter (another piece of paper). These pieces of paper cannot, however, be folded into paper airplanes to better hit the target. No, they are simply handed over to be looked at and potentially buried under every one else's pieces of paper. Which leads to another interesting point.

Regular hunting is much more communal. One successful hunter can share his spoils with the rest of the not so fortunate. When hunting the wild JOB however, it is a whole different story. One hunter's victory is not just another hunter's defeat, but ALL other hunter's defeat when it concerns that specific JOB. This adds and element of competition to the hunting ground that can get ugly. It can also mean that hunters are in constant need of coffee to lift their spirits.

Last, but not least, I would like to point out the element of patience. This is the area in which hunting the wild JOB diverges from regular hunting and gives fishing a run for it's money. Fishing, for those of you who are city folks and don't know, consists of sitting in/on a boat dangling a worm into the water with a piece of string and a stick, commonly referred to as a "pole". That is the simplified version anyway. It takes patience. Sometimes you can go for hours before you get a bite. Hours - HA! With the wild JOB you sit there, throwing out your pieces of paper for days, sometimes even WEEKS before any progress is made. Yes, patience is crucial when hunting a JOB, but you must also have knowledge. Some JOBS can't be had by the patient person. You must balance patience with perseverance to show the JOB that you mean business. Too much perseverance however and you will appear pushy and loose your chance.

In conclusion, hunting is not just for loggers and hillbillies; everyone hunts. The same considerations must be taken, whether you are hunting a wild animal or wild JOB. Anyone who has a JOB has shown hunting skills above and beyond what is normally used in the wild, as hunting the wild and elusive JOB is one of the most challenging hunts of all.

*Note: This post is meant for entertainment. Please don't take it too seriously, literally, or internally. Thank you ;)